Now the KyGuys probably remember that a few weeks ago The Guy introduced a new musical genre that should be present in every KyGuy’s musical collection: Shit the Ladies Love (STLL) Now, what makes STLL so important is an obvious answer. What makes STLL so important is that you get to see a girl naked. If you didn’t see that coming then you don’t know The Guy at all, and you should go take a lap. In order to explain, here’s a brief anecdote.
STLL Experience: First encounter with the STLL musical genre.
Scene: 7th Grade dance.
The Ladies: All of them.
Everyone knows these kinds of dances. The boys stand at one side while the girls stand on the other. The boys are frozen, as the girls give dirty looks and stand their condescendingly making fun of all the boys’ penis sizes (That’s what they talked about right? It gave The Guy nightmares). It honestly made the guy wonder how anyone had ever gotten laid ever. “The Guy you were self conscience about ‘The Little Guy’ way back when?” 1.) Don’t call it The Little Guy. Call it the “Just the Right Amount of Awesome Guy.” 2.) Don’t even pretend like you weren’t, KyGuys. Everyone has done the condom dry run when they were younger. That thing never fit. It was like putting an arm in a long sleeve t-shirt. A lot breathing room if you know what I mean.
Now where was The Guy? Oh right, the dance. What happened half way through the dance changed The Guy’s life forever. His guilty pleasure song came on he lost his shit. And it went a little something like this:
The Guy’s not proud, but The Guy has no regrets. The Guy was on that dance floor so fast the girls weren’t even able to yell their clichéd 90’s Boy Band driven scream in time. Was there a bunch of soon to be KyGirls on the dance floor? Yup. Was The Guy the only dude on the dance floor with them? You betcha, Buster. The Guy dominated it. He was forever with the ladies. He went to dinner with them, went shopping with them, watched Grey’s Anatomy with them. “Hey, The Guy, I think they thought you were gay.” Whatever dude, I got to see them in their underwear. And it was awesome.
Common Misconceptions about STLL: 1.) “If the girl only thinks the artist is hot, then it still falls under the STLL musical genre.” That’s a huge no KyGuys. You don’t want to listen to music that will automatically make your KyGirl think of someone much hotter than you. Unless it’s Justin Timberlake because then you’ll both be thinking of J.T. and that’s just hot. Many country artists fall under this. 2.) “Justin Bieber falls under the STLL musical genre.” Way too young for you KyGuys, let’s not get awkward. 3.) “All music in the STLL genre is shitty.” Have you listened to Jesse McCartney’s voice?” It’s like the first time The Guy had a Dr. Pepper. He didn’t know what those 23 flavors were, but he loved every drop of it (The Guy’s not gay. He swears. Don’t even act like you weren’t a fan of Grey’s Anatomy).
The Undeniably most Clutch STLL Musician of All Time:
Boyce Avenue… It’s a lay up.