KyGuy: July 2011

Friday, July 29, 2011

The Guy Reflects on Celeb Marine Ball Invites

If you’re a celebrity and you get invited to the Marine Corps Ball is it the biggest dick move ever to not say yes? I’ll admit this whole Marine Corps Ball/Celebrity thing is getting a bit crazy. I mean we got J.T. and Mila Kunis being asked and saying yes which is awesome. Betty White said no but let’s face it she probably was around when the Marine Corps was founded. We got Linda Hamilton out in Lalaland more or less begging to go and thinking people actually remember who she is. This brings me to Scarlett Johansson, who is quite frankly becoming one of my most despised hot people in the world. First she dates Sean Penn now this. She turns down a chance to show respect to the people that are serving our country. I’ve been told by enough girls that they can’t go out with me due to an unnamed prior commitment to know that this excuse is an absolute fucking lie. I mean come on make up something. At least tell me you planned on walking your dog that night or “Sorry I was planning on watching David Bowie in “Labyrinth” that night”. At least she sent him a bottle of champagne. Most girls that turn me down never give me that courtesy.

5 W/ The Guy

It looks like the circus has come to town and I love it. I have always been a huge Ochocinco fan and I think he will fit in quite nicely. He may be at the end of his career but he still has something left, I mean the dude had 831 yards last year in 14 games and he had Carson Palmer throwing to him who is 1/4 of the QB that Brady is. Im seeing 1,000 yds and 8-10 TDs this year out of Chad but thats not the best part about this acquisition. With another threat at Wideout this opens up the middle for Wes Welker to dominate again which will make opposing defenses go crazier than Gary Busey. All in all I really like this move because lets be honest Brady needs more than just Gisele taking it deep.

The Guy talks Battleship

So by now you may have seen the trailer for the new Battleship movie. It looks like absolute shit. I don’t really know who had this idea or why anyone would allow this to happen but it I did. Correct me if I'm wrong but Battleship has got to be by far one of the worst games in the history of Gamedom. I wonder how this meeting went? “ Hey you remember that game Battleship?” “Yea game fucking sucked” “Let’s make a movie about it” “Who can we get to be in it?” “How about Rhianna and that hot chick from the Adam Sandler movie?” “Push production immediately”. They seem to have lost track a bit though seeing as now somehow aliens have been thrown into the mix. “How are we going to blow up the ships” “Aliens obviously” “Oh shit my bad” I don’t know why Liam Neeson agreed to do this. Maybe they didn’t have battleship over in the UK or if he got to bang out both Rhianna and Brooklyn Decker. I don’t know either way this movie should not have been made. I would much rather see a “Guess Who” Thriller or a “Game of Life” rom-com. Games shouldn’t be made into movies (see the movie based on “Clue”) then again I did hear they are making a Monopoly movie. If they cast Morgan Freeman as Mr. Money Bags I’m in.

P.S. Insert "You sunk my battleship" reference here

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Five w/ the Guy

The Pats have traded for Albert Haynesworth. Some people might look at it as a mistake and think that he will bring down the locker room and blah blah blah blah but the fact of the matter is when he is focused he is one of the best defensive lineman in the game. If anybody knows how to transform a troubled player back into a star its my man Bill. Not to mention the Pats gave up a fifth round draft choice in 2013 are you kidding me??? Belichick has so many draft picks each year that he wipes his ass with any pick lower than a third rounder (sorry Brady) this could end up being Randy Moss all over again just get some good season out of him and once the trouble starts drop him. Contracts are not guaranteed in the NFL so it’s not like herpes you can get rid of them. I don't know which move I like better this acquisition or Haynesworth credit card move through the cleavage of that waitress.