The Guy Can Be A Pro Athelete Too!
“Brad Lebo is one of the best golfers in the world. He’s never competed at Augusta National Golf Club or played a round with Tiger Woods, but he has already won a Masters Tournament and the US Open. Twice.
Lebo is a professional mini golfer. Don’t make a windmill joke just yet, though.
“When (people) give me grief about being a professional miniature golfer, if it’s someone I know well, I’ll say, 'What have you been the national champion at?' and that will end the conversation,” Lebo said.”-(Credit: MSN )
I told my parents that I have the makings of a professional athlete and they didn’t believe me. I told all my friends I could be a professional athlete and they laughed in my face. Well now it’s time for me to laugh back! HA! Pro mini golf? I’ll take it. Sure I may not look that good when I hit up Crystal Caves but that’s because I haven’t gone into training yet. Once The Guy starts his grueling mini golf work out, no one will be able to stop me. I once beat a girl at mini golf 450 strokes above par to 300 strokes below par. Yea I may have fudged the numbers a bit but still. Show me someone who can beat those scores and I’ll show you a liar! Maxim Magazine, Last issue… The Guy IS professional mini golf! BOOM! You know what they called a young Tiger Woods? “The Guy of Professional Golf”. Yea I’m that good. Who are “they” you ask? The council….of…sports…and all the…best athletes..in the history of sports. Maybe you’ve heard of them. They are world renowned. You should check into it. They’re a real council and are very respected. The Guy is getting off track here. My point is if there is professional mini golf, then what else can I go pro in? “Oh fuck he’s about to go on a stupid tangent talking about the most random activities in the world as if they were Pro-sports” Oh you think you know me so well….
Ladder Golf. The Guy could easily be the national champion in ladder golf. Everyone knows how deadly The Guy is when those ladders hit the lawn. People start pestering me “Oh please The Guy be on my ladder golf team. I need you” I’ll let them be my caddy if they are lucky. If you’re a female keep walking because The Guy don’t play with girls! “Wow The Guy you’re a stud!” I appreciate the support voice in my head. Very unlike you. “What else could you be a pro at?” Well, Jenga for one thing. You would be hard pressed to find a better Jenga player than The Guy. I pull blocks like no other. You better hope I don’t go first because I don’t pull from the top, I pull from the bottom. I go for blood at the first move. You better believe it. Monopoly. I could be a pro at this mostly because I out last most people. I make deals likes no other. “I’m sick of playing” “Okay that’s cool I’ll give you five real bucks for Park Place.” Some call that cheating. I call it strategy. Speaking of strategy…. Stratego. “Where the hell is your flag The Guy? Is it in the front lines?” Very well could be. I play fast and loose with my Stratego pieces so you better bring you’re A-game. The last thing I could be pro at will probably send you for a loop. A little game I like to call “Wheely Chair Football” A little game distilled on me by the greats: Malloburger, Benny, the Big KG, and of course Dildo Schmildo Dildo. I’m not going to explain all the details of “Wheely Chair Football” but know this, I’ve been known to take the seat of that wheely chair and make receptions like no other. What can I say? I’m a multi-talented athlete. If you think you have what it takes to challenge me in any of these sports then bring it. I’m ready!
