The Guy Dishes Out Some Hate

Things The Guy hates: over priced beer, woman’s rights, and Nic Cage. Nic Cage is the bane of my existence. He’s everything wrong with America, no wait the world (congrats Brendan Frasier). Yet I keep seeing more and more previews for Nic Cage movies. If you go to a Nic Cage movie this is what you will experience: corny lines, screaming, horrid acting, reseating hair lines, unnecessary action, weird accents, random outbursts of anger, leather, more screaming, random explosions, Nic Cage getting with girls way too hot to look at him, crazy rigid movements, and of course more screaming. Okay “Con-Air” and “The Rock” were good but not because of Cage. I have no idea how this man won an Oscar but there should be laws against such crimes to humanity. Not to mention like none of the movies he’s involved in sound good even if someone else was in the lead. Does he accept every screenplay that’s put in front of him? Maybe he has like the world’s best agent who got someone to sign a deal years ago got saying Nic Cage must be in 120000 movies a year every year no matter what the premise is. Straight cash deal right there. Does a rejected script get thrown into the “Nic Cage bin”? “A Haha Hey guy here’s one about a man whose wife gets turn into a cat and the guy needs to kill the mayor in order for her to come back to life…eh ill just throw it in the Nic Cage bin”. I can see a meeting with a writer and a director going something like this:“You know I don’t quiet see a movie working where a guy escapes from hell and hunts down a man and kills him” “Yea but what if Nic Cage starred in it?” “I love it…we stand to make thousands of dollars with this!” Maybe I’m taking it too hard of Nic Cage but I can’t be the only one who thinks this am I? What do you think Ghost Rider? “Feels like my skulls on fire but I’m good”…just plain awful